by Nick Inglis, et al
Sung to the tune of Tannenbaum
In recent years there has been a tradition of the outgoing secretary writing a new verse.
The 'winks club's mats are soaked in port,
And so are all who play the sport.
Tomato juice and such-like drinks,
Aren't good enough for tiddlywinks.
And when our team's just won the cup,
It takes us weeks to sober up.
As long as they serve real ale here,
We'll keep the winks club drinking beer.
Now Andy may well rant and rave,
But CUTwC men are true and brave.
Although we may get drunk at lunch,
We'll still be ready for the crunch.
'Cos when our men their feet have found
We'll pot out in the final round.
Though OUTS may feel they've got a hope
Traditionally we're bound to cope. (S.R. Gandy)
The Oxford mats are soaked in tears
Because they have not won for years.
Although they think thay they can pot,
It really does not mean a lot.
For when the chips are really down,
We'll squop them up in every round.
Though OUTS may think that they can win
We can count on Gavin Orpin. (R.J.E. Thompson, 1992)
It's on the OUTS that we did pee --
They haven't won since 1320.
de-dum-de-dum de-dum-de-dum ) forgotten this bit!
de-dum-de-dum de-dum-de-dum ) - will fix soon
Stew, he gloats while Andy stews.
We were so sure we would not lose
We left ye cuppe in Grantabrigge,
With Champagne chilling in ye frigge.
(J.C. Williams, 1993, modified by N.F.J. Inglis)
The Oxford mats are soaked again,
They could not cope with CUTwC men,
Once more we won the Varsity
Match, yes we were exemplary,
Except when Oxford potted out,
Yes, SLU is crap, without a doubt,
We'd like to say the match was tight,
But OUTS are still a heap of shite. (M.Fayers, 1997)
Matt's trouser's are as white as snow,
and at the Varsity Match he had to go,
To lunch with some of OUTS totty,
he left his team sitting pretty,
But without Matt, the games were won
We squopped them up in every one,
And without white-trousers, the score was sung -
82 1/6 - 29 5/6. (J.W.Murray, 1998)
The Oxford Team, they came to play,
They thought they could win on this day,
But OUTS they did not have a hope
Because they really could not cope.
They did not win, for the-ey should
Have sent some men ten times as good.
For CUTwC men they played and won,
By Ninety One to Twenty One. (P.T.Corbett, 1999)
The Oxford team went off to church,
And nearly left us in the lurch,
But no use to them was their God,
Their captain is a silly sod.
For Dave Tayl'ring is not so hot,
Unless your winks go in the pot.
We beat them by a singable score:
Eighty-eight to twenty-four. (P.M.Driscoll, 2000)
by Rev. E. A. Willis
Sung to the tune of Men of Harlech
Other nations are before us
With their Sputniks and Explorers
What can confidence restore us?
Naught but tiddlywinks.
On the fields of Eton,
Former foes were beaten.
But today all patriots play
This sport which needs such grit and concentration.
Through this game of skill and power
England knows her finest hour,
And her stronghold, shield and tower
Must be tiddlywinks.
Comments/suggestions/queries to
Andrew Garrard